To Be a Cullen
by drhappyfreak
Summary: an average girl, abruptly turned into a blood thirsty monster by the infamous Volturi, has been sent away to live with the Cullens until they return for her. What happens when the Cullens adopt a new member of the family?
1. New Arrivals

The plane ride had gone fast, too fast. There was nothing more I wanted than to just have more time to think, without having to be threatened or watched with every move I make. I was under 24/7 surveillance. I could not fidget or blink without one of them calling out 'dangerous' or 'unstable'. My eyes mocked me, echoing back their words through my blood soaked irises. It was getting to be too much…I thought I was going insane.

They carried me through the airport, both of their hands latched tightly to my arms. I knew it was to keep me from indulging in the scent of humans swirling around me, intoxicating and delicious. I would have gladly given in to my craving if I wasn't for the restraints at my sides. Good. That was good. None of these people deserved to die; they had real lives, real jobs, and real…families. My cold heart sunk at the thought. A family, something I would never have again. I held back a sigh.

We sped through quickly, ignoring the surprised faces of people passing. They wanted nothing more than to get me away from their sight; I was a nuisance to them, a waste of time. I knew this because before we had left the Volterra, I overheard Demetri arguing with Aro about myself.

"_Why waste our time on that annoying brat? Let's just finish her off, one less problem to be dealt with."_

"_Please Demetri! Do not go against my word. She has potential! We can all see that, she would be a wonderful addition to our group, don't you agree?" Aro said pleadingly. _

"_Perhaps, but what if she doesn't join? Then our efforts would have been for nothing!"_

"_Demetri-" Marcus intervened "-Do as we say. We have made our decision. Now be on your way, for you are the one who is being a waste of our time." _

I could almost_ feel_ the hatred Demetri was emitting towards me. It wasn't a good feeling. But it made me more confident to know he wasn't allowed to kill me…I could deal with the other abuse he gave me away from the public's view.

Felix and Demetri were silent for the entire trip, except for the cold glares they shot me when I began to ask about where we were, or where we were going. That shut me up pretty good. I came to the conclusion talking would do me no good, so I too became silent. It was very annoying not knowing where they were taking me, and nerve racking. Who knew what was waiting for me on the other side of the airport?

Something told me I didn't want to know.

To my relief, when we got outside, a large black car with heavily tainted windows waited for us. Felix opened the door for us. Demetri went in first, and I followed. Felix shut the door, and walked around the front, to slide into the driver's side. He started the engine, and began racing away from the already distant airport.

My anxiety grew with every minute that passed, wondering where I was going, what they were going to once I was there. Did Aro take Demetri's advice after all? Or maybe Demetri would go against Aro's words and finish me off himself?

I knew it was silly to think such things, but I couldn't help but believe them. At this point anything was a possibility. But couldn't bear thinking about it anymore, so instead I cleared my mind and kept it blank for the remainder of the never ending car ride. I slipped up often, but then went back to my muted trance. It was the best I could do.

I was doing a pretty good job until a warm light touched my tightly shut lids. My eyes flashed open, wide and alert. Then I saw it.

The large and exquisite manor towered over the car. It was painted a creamy shade of white, complimented by the brightly lit lights pouring out the windows. The entire house was detailed to the finest points, top to bottom, and undeniably classy. Despite the rich setting it was surprisingly homey. I felt reassured by the strange piece of architecture. I felt at home.

My happy thoughts were interrupted by Felix clearing his throat. I turned to look at him in the front, and he was already looking at me. I stayed silent, unsure of what to do. He could see the confusion plain on my face. Then for the first time, he spoke.

"Its time to go,"


	2. The Pleasures All Mine

I stepped out of the car, onto the damp soil that squished underneath my torn up runners. The air here was so clean, and smelt like rain. City air was revolting in comparison. The entire lot was surrounded by massive trees, still visible in the darkness. The interesting shades of green danced around us, swaying in the faint wind. It was beautiful.

Demetri came from behind me, grabbing my arm with irresistible strength, and began towing me up the steps. Felix joined him, grabbing my other arm.

Demetri or Felix didn't bother knocking, because a half a second later, the door opened widely, exposing us to the bright lights from inside.

"How may I help you gentlemen this evening?" A calm voice spoke through the door. I peered up through the light at the angel faced man standing before us. He had fair hair that glistened in the light, with the same ivory skin like the rest of us, but there was something different. I scanned his features carefully until I came across his eyes that were a surprising shade of butterscotch. It was strange, in a way, I found those eyes calming, maybe because they weren't glowing with human blood.

"Carlisle," Felix nodded.

"I take it this isn't a social visit," Carlisle noted, glancing at me.

"I'm afraid not. Aro has sent us to take care of some business," Demetri informed him, glaring at me from the corner of his eye.

"Ah, would you like to come in?" Carlisle offered, gesturing towards the inside.

"No, that won't be necessary. However we do have a request." Demetri continued.

"Oh. I believe Alice has informed us of your situation already," Carlisle said with little smile.

"Then it's understood," Demetri loosened his grip on my arm and Felix did the same. He turned to face me with the same unemotional face I had been looking at for the past 48 hours. "Go," He nodded towards the house. I could feel the crease in my brow, but I obeyed. Carlisle moved aside for me to pass into the house, I took a few steps before looking back at the scary looking men outside.

"We'll be back to check up on her in a few months. For now we ask you to keep her stable and away from harming the public."

"I understand. Well, until next time." Carlisle said in an even voice.

They nodded in agreement and disappeared from the steps. I could hear the engine start again. The headlights briefly flashed in the window, then turned onto the road, trailing down until I could see it no more. Finally they were out of my life…for now. Crap.

Carlisle shut the door softly, then came to face me. "What to do now?" He smiled down at me.

It felt nice to see a smile, and to be here in this small heaven, away from darkness, away from fear.

I managed to smile stiffly. It had been a while since I had actually been able to move freely, that was nice to.

"Ah. I know. Let's introduce you."

He put a gentle hand on my shoulder, to turn me away from the door. "Might I ask your name?" He questioned innocently.

Of course, I should have introduced myself earlier; it wouldn't have been as rude.

"Jamie." I managed to say in a small voice.

"Welcome to our home Jamie, I would like you to meet my family." Carlisle looked away from me, into the room. I shifted my face to look in the direction he was staring in, surprised to see more golden eyed vampires all sitting in the well decorated foyer. I counted seven pairs of eyes, piercing right through me. I could feel the anxiety building up in my chest again, because neither of them seemed too happy at my entrance.

Carlisle was the first to break the silence, "I reside here with my wife Esme and my children Edward, Bella, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice." He spoke slowly, letting me take in the names and the faces of his family members.

I took in the different hair, different bodies, different…just about everything. One thing linked them together. They were all unbearably beautiful. I noticed the ones called Rosalie and Edward were the most beautiful, just a little more then the rest.

One of them rose, and came gracefully to Carlisle's side. It was Esme, I believed. She had a head of wavy caramel locks that shaped around her face. There was a sort of kindness that was held in her delicate features, sort of motherly I suppose.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Jamie," a warm smile touched her lips, making me feel welcomed.

"It's nice to meet you to," my smile grew bigger at her kindness. "I'm so sorry about the intrusion," I noted, my smile fell. Those terrible men…They would hurt these people would they? They couldn't…

"They better not." The one with copper hair spoke…Edward. I looked over at him to see a tiny smirk on his lips.

Wait…Did I say that out loud? I didn't think so. Oh no…maybe I was going insane.

"No, no. I assure you. You're quite sane." He continued smiling. "No they won't hurt us, we've come to…lets say a sort of an agreement."

Ah. Good. I didn't want to see this family get torn apart by those awful bodyguards, or the Volturi. I had to restrain a shudder.

"Yes they are awful aren't they?" He beamed.

Oh no. he couldn't could he? No, no, no…

"Yes, yes, yes," He answered my silent question, still smirking.

No good. The thought of someone hearing my deranged thoughts. No good at all. I hope he's good at ignoring them. I really, really hoped so!

"I'm pretty good at it." He admitted to me. I sighed in relief _that_ was good.

"Let's Hope."

No fair. He was doing this on purpose. _You're Terrible_. I thought with a smirk of my own.

"That's for starters." His smile turned evil now.

_Crap_.


	3. Welcome Home

Carlisle and Esme gave me a tour of the extravagant house. Every corner we turned was furnished expertly, especially the rooms. They were all brightly lit and welcoming, just as the foyer. That was a nice change. Though the Volterra had been decorated comfortably and had admirable architecture…it still didn't have this…atmosphere. Although I wouldn't allow myself to touch a single piece of furniture or the fact I felt so out of place and unsure, I couldn't help but feeling this overpowering sense of home.

Maybe that wasn't a good thing, but it sure felt right.

When we reached the very last room on the third floor, they came to a stop then turned to face me in one synchronized movement.

"Jamie it is to our understanding that you will be staying with us for while…" Carlisle began.

"So…we thought it was best to give you a room of your own for now." Esme finished for him, smiling at me timidly.

"Oh." was all I could manage. Their kindness was too much, I almost felt embarrassed, with me intruding and all. They already had such a large family, and a lovely one at that. I didn't belong with them, I was no saint. I didn't want to ruin this perfect place, this… perfect family, they didn't deserve it. Any of it. Maybe I was just being paranoid but…I just couldn't shake the thoughts clouding my mind. Maybe they didn't like me, maybe they were just being nice, maybe they wanted me gone, or maybe I would just screw this all up. With my human parents, there were times I was just plain rude. I would yell and curse, sometimes even a push or a shove. I didn't want that to happen with these people, not at all. I knew that it was normal to be angry as a teenager, but I just wanted to be this sweet and innocent girl, instead of this loud, mean, and outspoken person I truly was.

I especially hated how much I worried and I'm sure Edward would too. I really hope he couldn't hear this.

"Don't worry about hurting our feelings if you don't want to stay with us. That is perfectly understandable, no ones forcing you sweetheart," Esme said placing a comforting hand on my shoulder, misunderstanding my response.

"No, no I didn't mean it like that, I would be honored. It's just that you all are much to kind," Allowing a stranger they barely knew to stay in there house. Impossible, I couldn't resist smiling.

"This is nothing dear, we just want you to feel welcome," Esme gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze, another motherly gesture. I didn't think it could possibly get more welcoming than this.

"Think nothing of it Jamie, our home is yours for as long as you desire." Carlisle added with a reassuring smile.

I smiled back with a tiny grin of my own. How could I possibly repay these people? The answer was simple, I couldn't. For now I could only help out in anyway I could offer. Maybe one day I would figure out how, but right now I was tired and in desperate need of solitude. The emotions inside me were building up, if I waited too long they would boil over, which would probably be very embarrassing afterward. I was pretty sure they wouldn't want to deal with a random emotional break down by someone they hardly knew. Better not go there. Best scenario was to get it out of my system before facing them again, so as not to scare them. '_Good plan,'_ I thought to myself.

"Sorry this was the best we could manage for now, we didn't have anything prepared…" Esme trailed off looking uncertain.

Carlisle opened the door widely, making room for me to pass through. I peaked around the corner of the shiny wooden door, looking into the mysterious room. My breath caught.

It was no closet of Alice's, but it was bigger than my room back home. What had really caught my attention was the transparent wall facing across from me. The outside was pitch black, but that didn't stop me from staring in astonishment.

"Esme…This is Fantastic."My voice was no more than a whisper. I couldn't seem to get over the beauty of the room. There was too much space for one person, but I could deal with that and thanks to the transparent back wall, the view would always be open to me. It was beautiful even in darkness.

"I hope you don't mind those boxes…this was a kind of temporary storage for us, but well find somewhere else for them." Carlisle said gesturing to the back wall.

I had vaguely noticed the 4 medium sized cardboard boxes in the back corner. It must have been old clothing or memento's they weren't willing to give up. It wasn't a big issue and I would try to get out of their lives as soon as I allowed, so they wouldn't have the trouble of looking after me, besides they were under no obligation to. Once again I was taken away by their generosity.

"No need to worry Carlisle, I don't need that much room and they hardly take up any of it. I'll do my best not touch them." I said as politely as I could manage.

"Nonsense, I'll have them out of here by tomorrow." Esme said shaking her head disapprovingly. "I should probably order you a new bed and a dresser too..." She sounded more like she was talking to herself than to me, but that was too much.

"Oh no Esme, I don't need anything. I don't sleep after all." My words came out in a rush. The idea of them spending money on me was horrific. A temporary home and a room of my own was enough! Especially from people who I had only just met. They should spend money on their real family, not some intruder.

"I insist. you are going to be staying with us for a while anyway, so you should at least have a decent room." Esme quietly pleaded. Her brow was furrowed in concern; she was already treating me like a family member. What kind souls they had.

I walked back a few paces back to where they were standing, and gently took her hand in both of mine and said "It is so generous to even consider buying me furniture, but this is enough. You have given me a roof to live under and a room to myself, which in itself is already too much. I could never pay you back for all your kindness. "I made sure to include both of them in my statement, because after all, it was both of them who were including me here.

"We insist." Carlisle spoke this time, "You are our guest, and we want make you comfortable here anyway we can." Carlisle smiled down at me; I could see the smile touch his liquid golden eyes, which made it harder to refuse.

"I just don't want the money to go to waste. It could go to much more useful things…" I could hear the little bit of concern in my voice as I said it, because truly I was concerned.

"Nothings going to waste, I promise," Esme's spoke solemnly, the smile still intact on her lips. "For now we'll let you get settled. We'll deal with it in the morning." She said flipping my hand over gently so she could pat it.

"Yes, I'm sure it's been a long day for you," Carlisle noted kindly. '_You have no idea'_ I said internally. It most certainly had been. Instead I just smiled up at the two wonderful people standing before me; it had been worth the trip.

"Is there anything else we can do for you?" Esme asked concerned again.

"I can't possibly think of anything else." With her hand still in mine, I squeezed it softly and released it, and tried to give them my most reassuring smile. It worked.

"Then we'll see you tomorrow I suppose," Carlisle gave me a kind nod, and began to turn for the door.

"Well there is one thing…" I said unsure, looking down briefly.

"What dear?" Esme chimed in. I could here a spark of curiosity in her voice and wondered if she really did want to spoil me, not just out of friendliness.

"I was wondering…if I could go out for a while. I just need time to clear my head is all." I peeked up them from the corner of my eye, hoping this was allowed. The emotions were almost burning in my chest; I needed to get out of here and out of here fast.

"I would think that's alright-" she said in a strange tone. It sounded mostly unsure, but I thought I could hear some panic behind it. "-But, please come back by morning. There are a few things that we must get done." She broke free of her confused expression and smiled warmly at me.

"Sounds like a plan. I'll see you both later then. "I ran past with a tight smile on my lips, wanting to get out of here as fast as possible without seeming rude. Then I realized I hadn't properly thanked them yet. _That_ was rude. I sped back to their side to say one last thing.

"Thank you so much for all of this, you have no idea how much this means to me." I didn't have time to watch their reactions as I was already shooting faster than a bullet down the stairs, and the floors. I myself could hardly notice my surroundings. As I approached the main floor I wanted my entrance to be unnoticed, but I guess it couldn't be helped. I made sure to keep my focus on the grand front door, and not the six pairs of curious eyes watching my blurry figure. I had at least managed to open and close the door no louder than a whisper, hopefully not damaging it in the process. I ran as quickly as my new legs would allow through the thick underbrush of the forest, every so often a hidden branch would lash out of the shadows to stroke my face or a small fern would be uprooted from the ground as I whipped by, accidentally kicking them into the unseen abyss. My new senses saved me from running or crashing into anything covered by the dark, it felt so natural knowing which way to go or which turn to take, almost as if I had been living here for decades rather than hours. I followed my instincts until I had reached a small opening of tree's, just big enough for the clouded moonlight to hit the ground.

I planted the balls of my feet into the damp soil below me bringing me to a stop, right before the opening. I steadied myself and then took a few steps towards the center before dropping to take a seat on the wet grass. I flopped over onto my back, and then turned over to curl myself into a ball. There had been times on this trip that I had felt so feeble and defenseless, but that was nothing compared to right now. Even when the Volturi had captured me or when I was forced to stay with those terrible men, felt almost nice in comparison to this. Because right then, every single pain, stress, or emotion I had been hiding all came back to me.

I couldn't take it any longer.

I boiled over.


	4. Flashbacks

I lay there alone in the dark. My only company was the howling of the wind softly brushing the leaves of the massive trees surrounding me. Not even a peep came from my frozen lips. I wished that I could scream, to get rid of some of the stress, but nothing came. Even my eyes waited wide and alert; however I wasn't looking for anything in particular, in fact anything for that matter, but they refused to close. That was fine with me…If I closed my eyes I would see every moment of this life I had been blocking. Unfortunately my mind didn't work that way. It took so much to not think about it. I was surprised I had even gone this far without memorizing it all, but I had been in shock. I still was…

My shock was different than before. It wasn't the same shock, when venom ran like fire ran through my veins, or realizing my heart had ceased beating or maybe how I wanted…to drink blood. It was nothing like that.

This shock took me by surprise, but it felt strangely familiar. I remembered as a human whenever I heard some terrible news or saw something disturbing, my mind went to an unusual place. I could shut out my thoughts but there was this overwhelming feeling I couldn't name. First everything would seem slow, and my heart would grow warm in my chest. Then my eyes would be open but only see nothing in front of me, as if I wasn't there, like now. That feeling usually passed quickly, because there wasn't anything overly shocking that happened in my human life. But right now I knew that I wasn't a human, and I had never experienced anything even close to this. It was much worse.

My body felt so still that it made me think the earth had stopped moving all together. All my senses were numbed, or at least that's what it felt like. I couldn't feel anything, the damp grass I was lying on or even the soft whoosh of wind against my marble skin, despite I was probably wearing out of season clothing that wouldn't cover me well. There was no spark of feeling inside or outside of me. Well not at first anyway.

Something new started to consume my emotion. My eyes started to burn uncomfortably, making my face crumple up. I could feel my eyebrows hammer into the tops of my lids, and my mouth curve down into frown. It felt like a combination between sorrow and fright. But then something more came. It felt like someone had booted me in the gut with the strength of 300 quarterbacks, making me a little sick in the process. My throat closed up after my breathing began again, this time in short, wild gasps.

In-between gasps, strange high pitched noises broke uncontrollably through my closed throat. The sound was half choked, and I couldn't quite pin-point what the sound was or where it was coming from. Oh. This must have been sobbing, very loud and off beat sobbing.

Then I realized what this all was. The pain in my stomach and the tearless weeping. All my unexpected feelings and that strange sensation of exploding tension I had felt from before. It all made sense now. I recalled a summer I had spent at a drama camp that I hadn't exactly enjoyed.

I was homesick.

It made me want to laugh, knowing what these feelings really were. Of all things, my biggest problem was a bad case of_ homesickness._ A stupid, pathetic way to grieve, even after fifteen years of life, I was still a child. Small and needy, always needing reassurance. A five year old could handle this better.

On the other hand…this wasn't a bad summer camp. I couldn't call my mom and tell her how much I missed them. I couldn't spend the week knowing I would be going home. Because this time I wasn't going home, I was never going home. I would never have a home again. I wasn't allowed to go back, and most of all make contact with anyone. That includes all friends and my family. Nobody. That thought stabbed me like a knife, twisting around in my stomach like the previous pain. But my pain didn't just come from knowing I'd never have them again, it was them never having me again.

It almost killed me knowing that tomorrow after they arrived home, a letter would be waiting for them on our kitchen table. They would sort through the mail until they found it. Once they opened it; there would be my name, cause of death with a following apology at the bottom. My mom would burst into tears and my father would stand still as stone. My brother and sister might cry or might be strong for my parents. Either way, the memory of the youngest daughter would haunt them for the rest of their lives. In a few months the pain would fade, maybe sooner then that. They would slowly find happiness and continue on with their regular lives.

However I had to stay here, knowing I was still alive. Well, in a way. I could return home, tell them they were misinformed. A story like the morgue had made a mistake and they hooked me up to a machine just in time. Made up some other stories explaining the skin, the eyes, and the weird thirsts; hopefully believable ones. Maybe a rare disease or a blood condition I'd caught. But I knew these were just excuses to go home again. And if the Volturi ever found out I was even considering going home, they would make up a plan of some sort, something that wouldn't end well for me. All of these things I was facing now would have never happened if I had just made the right choice from the beginning. I could remember them almost perfectly, even if they were human memories.

At first it was a simple vacation plan. We decided to pack up our things and go on a family trip to Italy. We never did leave the country much, so things like this were exciting for us despite the busy tourism this time of year. So two weeks into summer vacation, we boarded a plane and were on our way to Volterra. What lured us in was the beautiful sight seeing and the upcoming festivals. We were right, it was beautiful. Everything was centuries old, providing a lot of photographic material.

After we spent a few days sight seeing and getting used to the area, things changed a little bit. On the morning of day four, we took a stroll down to the main market place like we had every other morning since arriving. The venders were gone and it was more crowded than usual, but we did notice posters that were thankfully printed English. To our understanding it was a day of celebrating past rulers or something like that. Even if we didn't exactly know, we still celebrated with the rest of the crowd.

Everything was going pretty good until I realized I forgot my camera back at the hotel. And unfortunately my mom's camera had died. After a small disagreement with my dad, I was finally allowed to go back alone and get it. He still didn't approve but I didn't care, as a teenager I always liked doing things alone. What a foolish way to think. The trip back to the hotel wasn't so bad, coming back was different story. After I got my camera back, I began battling my way back through the mounds of tourists.

After pushing and sliding past the wild crowd for about five minutes, I got pulled into a tourism group. I wasn't exactly sure where they were going, but every time I tried to escape, some else would push me back in. There were so many people I couldn't see where we were anymore.

I could tell we were in a building because the sun disappeared from above, and our footsteps sounded different. By that time, I was in a panic. I tried to explain to the adults around me that I needed to get out, and that my family was waiting for me. The only responses I got were confused looks or polite smiles. Sometimes I swore they couldn't even hear me. But one thing was for sure, I was the only one who could speak English.

I was towed into drafty room that smelt kind of funny to me. The smell made me a little nauseated. I couldn't figure out what it was.

My thoughts were interrupted by a musical voice speaking in a strange tongue, probably Italian. The voice stopped suddenly and spoke "_would any of you speak English perhaps?" _That voice was as frightening as beautiful when it was spoken. I know now that it was Aro who was speaking, but at the time I didn't want to know, I just wanted to run. That probably wouldn't have been a good idea; I would have just been killed faster.

"_Excellent!"_ he spoke, "_Friends, its time!_" Even then I knew we weren't the '_friends_' he was talking to. After that, it all happened quickly.

The screaming first began with an attractive blonde woman in the front, and then the others followed. My instincts froze me, like a dear caught in headlights. My mind told me to run, but my body wouldn't respond until by some miracle, I moved. At first It was just a clumsy step back, then a full on sprint to the doors we came through. I shoved passed the frozen bodies of tourists, which just made it harder to escape. Sweat was beading down my forehead and tears were clouding my vision. Also distracting.

Half blinded by tears and panic, my actions were being guided by adrenaline and whatever was left of my thoughts. The screams of terror broke out from behind me. There weren't many people left by the sound of it. After they had finished them there would be no more distractions to hide me. I reached the door after the screams had faded into low moaning and I knew I was in for it. The door was large and very heavy, but I managed to open it just enough for me to slide between.

"_Fools, she's getting away!_ "Marcus roared behind me. I could hear the blood crazed minions pursuing me. They let out ear piercing growls like wild animals. The sound was getting closer and closer. Right before escaping the room, an ice cold hand gripped the back of my flimsy t-shirt and ripped me back; throwing me back three feet to fly back onto the opposing wall. My back buckled against the pressure, making me shriek in pain. I couldn't move my left arm, which was obviously broken from the impact. It made it more difficult to get up. Instead I used my right arm to support my weak legs as I shimmed up the wall.

The same cold hand pushed me back against the wall, breaking my shoulder blade. They wrapped their hand around my neck, and shoved their face and inch away from mine, hissing wildly. My fear subsided momentarily as I felt a spark of hatred inside of me. These people…I couldn't understand why they would do something so horrible. I wished I could have punished them, but I didn't have the super strength they had. Anger was replacing my fear completely. I was so mad I actually…Glared at him. My teeth gritted together. When I exhaled it sounded more like a growl than a gasp.

"_Ha-Ha!"_ Aro exclaimed behind the boy blocking my view. "_I've never seen such courage before! Alec Dear, release her_."

The one called Alec turned around in one swift movement, still not releasing me.

"_What?"_ He said in disbelief.

"_Please release her_." I could see him now. On his abnormal face was a smile, but his curiosity overpowered the friendly gesture.

Alec shot me a cold look from the corner of his eyes not moving his head. He muttered something unintelligible then ripped his hand away from my throat. "_This is ridiculous! We are wasting our breath_." Alec complained sneaking a disapproving look my way.

The way he looked at me made me feel so insignificant. Even if I didn't know what they were then, I still knew I had a right to existence. Just because they were prettier, stronger, and smarter than everyone else on this planet still gave them no right to think of us as petty beings. We still mattered. Without us they would be feeble, curled up on the ground withering in their strange hungers. We were the ones who gave them life and reason. They may not have realized it but I did. They were selfish and unreasonable. Throwing human lives away like candy wrappers…stupid.

"_Oh now, now my dear, don't look at us like that. We mean you no harm_!" Aro's smile grew bigger as he stared down at me with curious eyes.

I highly doubted that. If they truly meant me no harm I wouldn't have the left side of my body mangled up like a pretzel. My expression didn't lift. "_Hm._" I used a tone that was reserved for fights with my parents. I was amazed I could even feel like this under the circumstances, I should have been one of the bloodless bodies on the floor.

"_Oh come now! Let's not be hasty. Now what might be your name?"_ His curiosity grew more pronounced as his smile disappeared.

Well if I was going to die no use in being rude. "_Jamie Keller_." I guess I was being rude. My voice was calm but my eyes were still narrowed towards him.

"_Ah! Welcome to our home Jamie. I apologize for the mess."_ He gestured around the room, to the dead bodies. He didn't seem concerned about them, like dust bunnies rather than rotting flesh.

I didn't have anything to say to that, so instead I tried to gather myself into standing position. It was difficult at first, but I used my right side to lean against the wall as I pushed myself upward.

"_It's alright Felix. She is our guest now_." Aro said towards the large, intimidating creature, ready to spring. He looked at Aro with a disbelieving expression, shaking his head but he straightened up.

I finished squirming against the wall, but I had to keep leaning. All my energy had disappeared, and my legs were too shaky to balance on. I felt so empty and defenseless. But the idea helped, I knew I could be killed at any moment so I wasn't too afraid to move or talk knowing whatever I could be facing in the next few seconds, or minutes.

I got a better look at the room around me. The bodies on the floor withered to nothing, no more color in their deadened flesh. Then I looked at each of the monsters, taking in the statue like figures. They all had slight differences, but were mostly similar. They shared the same ancient hints in their perfect features, pale skin and most noticeable feature of all, bloody eyes.

"_Vampires…_?" I gasped breathlessly. I instantly regretted saying it, because as soon as I did they all tensed up and began snarling viscously. Thankfully none of them moved and inch toward me. Thank heavens for that.

"_Well done, but I'm sure that was obvious_." Aro eyed the bodies again.

"_I…suppose so. Also your eyes…"_ My voice was so quiet I wasn't entirely sure I'd heard it myself.

"_Ha-Ha! What courage_! _You were right Demetri, she is something isn't she?_" He said after a moment of silence. "_What to do now…_" His eyes shifted from side to side. "_Ah! Well now that our secret is revealed, you have two options Jamie dear. According to our laws, you may join our kind…or be wasted_." His smile fell a little at the end. What had he meant by wasted?

"_Wasted…_?" My eyebrows crushed together in confusion. "_Oh. I see_." I understood…I would join the lifeless group on the floor. "_Isn't there any other way_?" This time it was my curiosity, I wanted to be a human! I couldn't give it all up like this.

"_I'm afraid not, we can't risk being exposed_."

"_I won't tell! Just, please…"_ I could feel the tears building in my eyes. Why this, why now? I wanted my life, I didn't want to be without it, or continue it with these awful people. Why did this ever have to happen? I prayed it was just a dream...

"_Rules are rules_." I looked over to Caius who now spoke, looking completely uninterested, like he was speaking it for the thousandth time. I knew by his face that arguing would get me nowhere.

I put my hand over my face, to cover the tears before they gushed down my face. I didn't want this. Why did they want me? How come I got pulled into this stupid predicament? Was it all just coincidence…?

Then something occurred to me. Why was I standing here alive? Why were they talking to me? It didn't add up. I was as average as the rest of the people I came here with, so why didn't they decide to kill me? Was this all a plan from the beginning? Was it?

"_Um…_" My voice was shaky from the tears; I did my best to ignore it. This question needed to be asked.

"_Why me?"_ My question did not imply the emotions I was feeling. I truly wanted to understand.

"_So you've caught on_," Aro smiled for a few second before answering. "_We could tell. You see everyone has their own scent. Demetri was looking for a good group to gather for our…mid-day meal, and you happened to pass by. From what I observed from his memories, He smelled you from the distance, and he has quite the talent of tracking. He came back to show me, it was intriguing; we don't come across many like you. It was fascinating!"_ He clapped his hands together and laughed softly. Did this person ever get upset? It didn't seem likely.

"_You gave off this…citrusy aroma. It wasn't exactly mouth watering but strangely unusual, well, for a human. I knew you'd have something to offer. But sadly no…I didn't bother sending anyone to get you, as curious as I was it wasn't important enough to get involved. I must admit. I was quite surprised to find you in our little tour group though, How convenient!_" He gushed to himself.

"It _was kind of…an accident. I got trapped in the group and it was too crowded to get out._" I said looking down. It was embarrassing, not having the power to shove my way past a few tourists.

I heard Demetri Chuckle darkly from the corner. Oh no. He hadn't.

"_You didn't. Did you_?" I couldn't believe it. Was he the cause of this? Had he purposely trapped me?

"_We didn't want to see our master disappointed_," He smiled cruelly as I cringed against the wall.

That Bastard! It was his fault! They were all sick.

"_Oh, don't blame him. You have such potential. You could give so much in this life! Thank you Demetri, what an interesting project this will be!" _

I was speechless. I couldn't believe my ears. Thanks to him I was in this mess. What a vacation this turned out to be.

Aro sighed, "_Well if that's what you want we can finish this right now_." He sounded so disappointed, but I hardly cared.

"_No, no! I don't want to die_!" I said frantically, He must have misunderstood my silence.

"_Excellent! Then Alec, you can do the honors! I know you've been waiting for an opportunity such as this!" _

"_Thank you master_," Alec locked his crimson gaze with mine. His words were no more than a whisper as he stalked slowly forward. I couldn't turn my head away from his intense stare.

I was sure I had him in sight, until he vanished suddenly, appearing at my side. He shoved me back with irresistible strength, pushing me to the cobbled floor. I shrieked in anguish as he grabbed my broken shoulder blade. He didn't seem to notice. He knelt beside me no longer looking into my eyes; instead he stared anxiously to the bottom of my neck. I could feel his wild breathing against my skin, desiring my blood more with every inch he crept closer. His flawless lips parted, revealing each one of the razor sharp teeth inside.

Then, half a second later, he bit into my breakable skin. I yelped from the sudden stab of pain, but with every second passing the pain numbed dully, and I began to lose consciousness. The last things I remembered was a flow of heat racing down my waist and the muffled sound of Aro's voice, "_Yes. That should be enough_."

Rustling noises came from about 500 meters away, breaking me from my memories. I realized now I had been in thought for quite some time now. The sun was beginning to rise on the horizon exposing the land to cloudy sunlight. By the position it hung in the sky would make it around…six twenty seven. This surprised me. Last night when I first came here it was probably around one. I had been here for at least five hours. How strange…It felt more like twenty minutes, thirty at the most. I must have been very deep in thought.

It had only taken me half a second to think about it. The rustling was getting closer, at 300 meters. In another half a second, I was on my feet listening, waiting for more rustling. It continued to get closer, but I could hear something else behind it; the light tapping of footsteps. Maybe a human on an early morning hike? No, the footsteps were moving to fast, at about 100 meters now. I didn't really want to stick around to find out who it was, so I spun around on my heels and took off into the forest.

"Wait!" A soprano voice chirped.


	5. Getting Comfortable

I whirled around on my heels to face my pursuer, curling my back defensively as a dark shadow emerged from behind a large spruce. There was a short hesitation before they proceeded into the gap. The hesitation was just enough to make me think. Were they unsure? Perhaps they meant me no harm, and I was just wasting my time being overly defensive. That seemed reasonable enough, I decided. I shifted into a casual stance, straightening up from my crouch.

"That's better," They sang. It was obviously a she. The unknown woman's voice was unusually high pitched, and chimed like bells. It put harps to shame. It was a beautiful voice.

Before I could react, a feeling of calm washed over me, instant and very unnatural. I didn't think I should be feeling calm right now, just a moment ago I felt ready to spring. Maybe the venom was getting to me.

The tree's rustled softly as she slid fluidly from the underbrush, into the center of the gap. I noticed she was moving very slowly, watching me with careful golden eyes. I must have been the problem. Why else would she be so cautious? After all, I was about to attack her. I really needed to learn how to control my actions.

I realized the woman's face was familiar to me, but only recently familiar. Another memory popped into my head from last night when Carlisle introduced me to his family. After I pondered through the names and faces, I found a match. This must be 'Alice'. Yes it must be. I recalled the small figure, pointed hair, and delicate features. Something I hadn't realized was _how_ small she was. Yes, she was most defiantly slender, too slender. I thought she was going to break in half. But at the same time, it suited her. Her figure was not that much bigger than mine, probably just an inch or two taller. And although she was childlike, she seemed older, more matured.

'_That must come in handy'_ I scowled at the squishy grass. My entire life people always assumed I was years younger than I really was. After a while it got annoying, but I knew someday that would pay off. Middle aged women craved youth, so much that it was kind of revolting. And now I had nothing to show for it. Frozen at fifteen, forever looking twelve. I had to restrain a shudder.

"We've been looking for you," I looked up to her face, now only a meter apart from mine. There was a slight smile on her full lips. I could hear something behind her friendly tone, almost…tired? I hope she hadn't been searching too long.

"I'm sorry, I must have lost…track of time." I smiled back, making it as convincing as possible. She didn't buy it, I could see that much.

"Hm. It's alright, but we should head back, Carlisle and Esme are worried." She kept her tone light, but pressed her lips into a hard line. I wondered how much I'd worried them, and how much I had irritated the others. What a good way to make a first impression, '_good going retard._' I thought to myself.

"Sounds good," I nodded in agreement.

We took off into the forest, heading in the opposite direction. I followed Alice; she knew the area much better than I did, and I'm sure I would have been embarrassed later if I'd gotten lost in the woods. The first vampire to get lost, I was such a dough head it probably would have happened. Thankfully I had an excellent guide to insure I didn't. Alice must have had a built in radar or something; she never once paused to check with direction to take. Thirty seconds into our sprint, a tall, muscular and fair haired man crept out from the tree's to join us. I was sure this would have scared me, but that strange calm feeling returned and I could have cared less. I ignored the flood of questions filling my mind, and focused on running. He didn't seem to be any danger; there was no attempt to fight. Instead he ran to Alice's side, keeping only an inch from her. She didn't flinch at his actions; instead she turned her head swiftly to him and back, giggling. Another face popped in my head, Jasper's. It was him. I wasn't sure why I hadn't realized this sooner.

We reached to house in no time, Thanks to Alice's wonderful guiding. We slowed to a human walking pace, as we made our way across the front yard. As we made our way to the house I made sure to keep a safe distance from them as we walked, it felt wrong to interrupt they're strange closeness. There was a strange bubble like atmosphere emitting from them I could just barely feel. For me it was mostly awkward, but that was hard to ignore with how intense the feelings were. Luckily they barley noticed I was there. Maybe they were used to the attention, and ignored it, like now. I sure hoped so, no point irritating them further.

We made it to the large front doors, with me still trailing behind. They opened the doors together, making a noise no louder than a feather being swept across the floor. Sadly that was loud enough to be noticed in this home.

Carlisle and Esme were already at the door, greeting us with gentle embraces and welcoming smiles. When they caught sight of me Esme's face crumpled into worry. But a motherly worry, her embrace was a little harder than the ones she gave to the others. I wondered how much I could have worried them, surely not that much; after all I had only met them yesterday. While Esme softly crushed me to her body, I caught a glimpse of Carlisle over her shoulder. He was looking away, but the right side of his face was still visible. He almost looked angry, or perhaps just very confused. I think more confused by the way his eyebrows were set. Maybe he was the one I had irritated the most, which I supposed I deserved. I had run off pretty soon after arriving, and I hadn't been awfully polite about it. I said a quick goodbye, and then booked it to the forest to have a break down. Now that I thought about it, that was pretty rude.

Esme released me from her iron grip and gave me a stern look before returning to Carlisle's side. I wasn't sure if now was the time to talk or not because Alice and Jasper were still in the room waiting patiently for the others attention. I took that as a no, and glided quickly to take a seat on the first step of the grand staircase, this was a conversation that could wait.

"Well, Jazz and I are off! There's an overload of dear off to the east." Alice spoke swiftly, a little bit of urgency coloring her tone.

"So soon?" Esme's calm had not yet returned. Her eyebrows furrowed down as she looked into each of their eyes.

"Jazz hasn't gone for a while, and its getting to be a bit much." Alice turned her head to look at Jasper, matching Esme's expression.

He stared down at her with a reassuring smile on his face. "It's manageable, really."

"Nope, Come on, let's go!" She smiled widely back at him, grabbing his hand and tugging him through the front doors.

Jasper smiled and shook his head as she pulled him back through the doors, but he cooperated and followed. The doors slid shut, but I could still hear Alice's angelic giggles as well as Jaspers. That's when it occurred to me.

"Oh." I said out loud. I could feel my eyes pop out a little from the surprise. I must have been terrible at realizing things, because that seemed to be the case. They weren't just family, they were all _together._

"What is it dear?" Esme said, turning to me, concern replacing worry.

"Oh, it's nothing," I said, shaking it off. "I'm sorry about last night. I really should have given some warning before bolting off like that." I stared down at the floor not wanting to meet their gazes, especially Carlisle's.

"Actually…well it's a little silly, but we thought you had run away." I looked up to Esme who was looking away with a hand placed over her dainty smile.

"Oh no, I wouldn't! I was just…deep in thought. It's been a while since I've had some time to think."I nodded reassuringly to her, as an act of comfort. There was no need to worry.

"That reminds me-" Carlisle spoke now "-Would you care to tell us your side of the story?" My side? Had the Volturi already informed them of _their_ side? That could be a possibility. "Ah, I'm sorry," Carlisle said shaking his head thoughtfully. "Alice has a talent for knowing things before they happen. She-"He paused to catch my reaction. "Saw you coming. Rather, the Volturi planning you coming. We understood the situation, but there was no information about how you got tangled into this, if it's not too much to ask we would like to know how you came into our world." He looked down at me with gentle eyes, smiling lightly. Of course this made sense. They didn't even know how I had ended up here, and it seemed fair to left them know.

Carlisle offered we take our proper seats before I begin, so I rose and joined them on a pearly white arm chair, to sit across from them. They took their place on the love seat and gave the floor to me. I'm not going to lie, this wasn't a story I had been willing to tell, but they deserved to hear it, so I gritted my teeth and made it as light as I could make it. I began from the beginning of my vacation all the way to…that final moment. I skipped the conservation with Aro, and the blood thirsty Alec who turned me, but made sure my point was clear enough to understand. I skimmed through the actual turning part, with a brief description of my pain and the days, then the preparations to arrive here, all the way to actually arriving. They kept the same expression the entire time I was explaining. Carlisle's face froze into a mask of patience, every now and again nodding to him self. Esme wore the same expression, but slipped up once when I was explaining my failed escape, then being smashed into the wall but composed her self quickly after.

To my surprise, I had taken me all of six minutes for a brief explanation. It wasn't much, but more time than I had intended. They didn't say much once I had finished just sad glances in my direction. They allowed me to leave, and make myself at home. Esme suggested a shower, apparently there was a bit of dirt caked onto my face. That sounded good to me, so I thanked them again, and rushed up the stairs, until I reached my floor, and began searching for a bathroom. I found on at the end of the hall, opposite to my temporary room. It was large, very large, but probably not to them. I stifled a laugh, but didn't succeed. How much money did they have? I didn't want to find out, I thought with another laugh.

My shower was very quick; I made sure only to use a teeny bit of the expensive looking shampoo and conditioner, surely from salons, and then scrubbed my body with the fruity smelling soap, removing all the dirt on my skin. Apparently I hadn't gotten away Scott free from lying on the forest floor last night. While even while in perfection, we can't all be perfect.

I hopped out of the shower and grabbed the clean looking towel from a cupboard across the room. I ruffled the towel through my hair, and down the rest of my body. As many times that I've showers, this felt like the first time. With my new senses nothing felt familiar, not even the most common thing. That was going to be frustrating.

After I scrubbed through my damp short hair, I wrapped the towel around my chest and tucked it in safely. The large mirror over the sink was fogged up from the steam, which I was grateful for. I hadn't actually seen myself, my new self that is, but I had a good guess. Pale skin, red eyes the works. All the things us newbie vampires had, and something that couldn't easily be changed.

I took a deep breath and swiped one pale hand across the foggy mirror, allowing enough room to get a full view of my face. I didn't want to, but I had to sooner or later. Better now I figured, so I could scare myself now and get over it. I forced my eyes in the spot I had cleared, coming face to face with the monster in the mirror.

It was worse, much worse.

My face was wiped clean of color, like someone took bleach and splashed it across my face only leaving a ghostly complexion. The subtle blush of my cheeks had vanished, fading into bleached skin. From my fuzzy memories, my face had been rather soft, squishy with flesh. Now it was stretched firmly across my high cheekbones, no longer offering the sense of softness instead replaced with a statue like quality, hard even in stillness.

The skin only made my eyes more noticeable. They contrasted against the pearly white of my new skin, making them pop from my face similar to the ways advertising would pop up on a TV screen. That seemed pretty dull in comparison though. TV ad's wouldn't jump from the screen and try to drink your blood.

The only thing vaguely familiar about my new appearance was chin length hair, scattered wildly across my face from scrubbing it with the towel. It was chestnut in color, appearing almost black from the water.

I continued looking for the familiar features throughout my new face. At first I saw nothing but the horrifying beauty that mocked me from the reflected surface. Then more came. A jaw was slightly squared, with a chin that was a bit pointed. Eye's that weren't awfully close together but more than centered, and a little larger than normal. A nose was a teensy bit longer than perfect and had a bulb like end. And last but not least, lips that were slightly bigger on the bottom than the top. The relief that washed through me was tremendous. It made me still feel like I was still intact with my new self, like I hadn't replaced it with the pretty zombie in the mirror. All these imperfections were a gift, a reminder of who I was, not the person I was intended on being.

I decided I had enough for one day, and tore my gaze away from the mirror. Even with these new eyes, there were only so many things I could stand to look at, that being one of them. Despite the newly found similarities, the eyes still scared the crap out of me. I would have to ask Carlisle how he obtained the lovely butterscotch color. I searched for an answer that would explain it, but there were few options. My first thought was that it was simply my new eyes deceiving me, or perhaps they didn't work quite right. My second thought was contacts. But why pick yellow? Not a very common color, in fact not common at all. Why not brown or green, they could pull it off. It seemed unlikely they would pick yellow to blend in, but who knew why.

After a few seconds of pointless thinking, I told myself to shut up. I would never know unless I asked so there was no point in being confused over something I didn't understand. But it was something I did intend on understanding.

I crouched down to the floor with my towel still tightly intact, picking up my clothing I had thrown on the floor. I picked up an unfamiliar white t-shirt. It was thread bear and detailed with flower designs sewn into the fabric along the bottom. I was sure I didn't own a piece of clothing like this, and I was sure I hadn't been wearing this the day of my turning. The t-shirt I was wearing must have been blood soaked from Alec's greedy feeding. I felt a pang of hatred inside me, just thinking about that gluttonous face. I wanted to rip my nails down his face, silencing those childish giggles.

I shook my head away from the vengeful thoughts and focused back on my clothing situation. As I dug through the rest of the small pile, I realized nothing was the same. My worn jeans were replaced with a pair that was well fitted and dark washed. My color faded blue hoodie was now a black, high necked guess leather jacket. But to my pleasant surprise, the pair of blue torn up runners I had bought last year was still in my possession.

As for the rest I assumed the stranger's clothing must have been borrowed from Jane's 'public wear'. I had never seen her in anything besides that dreadful black robe, so I was guessing there had been plenty to go around. It was a shame for it to just lie around. I had to admit, the clothing was very, very cute.

To my surprise, the outfit had been untainted by the muddy forest floor. Not a single piece of dirt had been smeared onto the new leather. That was a good thing.

I dressed slowly, feeling each article of clothing slid perfectly over my frame. It was even better fitting then my old clothing, but probably more uncomfortable, I hadn't been used to this type of style, as in fashionable and expensive. The pair of jeans I was wearing must have been over a hundred dollars for all I knew, it seemed very likely. I ignored the urge to check the brand name, just out of curiosity. Instead I ruffled my fingers through my damp hair parting it to its usual side, and opened the bathroom door heading for the first floor.

I remembered I needed to ask Carlisle about the eye color, but I had been distracted with the clothing problem. My pace sped up to a run, my curiosity growing with every step I took. I wanted badly to know the secret to their eyes; I didn't want to be a red eyed freak for the rest of my existence.

I reached the top of the grand staircase, turning swiftly to fly down the steps to reach them in the living area. But I couldn't get my feet to move another inch; I was frozen at the top, my foot resting on the next step.

The heartbeat that thrummed as quickly as a bird's wing beat loudly from down the stairs. I couldn't see them, but I could hear them. Mostly the heartbeat, that pulsed like music in my ears and wouldn't leave me alone. Quiet intakes of breath were playing alongside the heartbeat, putting me deeper in my blood crazed trance. They were close, very close, their heat was almost touching me just enough to tickle my burning throat.

My thoughts were blurred by the thirst, but I used what ever I had left to calculate. The Volturi would bring me blood pack every so often, I had never once fed from a human or rather I refused to. The blood quenched my burn, but it never lasted long enough. They were usually cold, so I was never immediately tempted but after I smelt it…I gave in. the last time I had one was the night before departure. This was completely different then blood packs, they were so warm, and close. I could barley smell their scent, but the healthy heartbeat was enough to persuade me. Unfortunately I had barley been around humans since the transformation, unless I had two bodyguards strapped to my sides. I had no practice with resisting, and most of all no restraints. I was a newborn, with no practice, and no blood in my system.

I knew what was about to happen.


End file.
